Would have done the same t b h
I had my first three-person date tonight with the couple I’m dating.
I think people looked at us, but I don’t care very much. It was fun.
I started dating a couple about 3 months ago. It has been so fantastic.
This was basically the way my last weekend went. Fucking perfect.
Umm, this is fucking sexy.
Last weekend was fucking amazing. I spent the entire weekend over at Zoseph’s place. They live two blocks away from me, but I still stayed there from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon.
This is huge.
It’s one thing to spend evenings or whole nights together. But to be able to spend days on end with each other, it just confirms for me that they are as into the relationship as I am. Wow. What a great, amazing feeling! I felt so cared for all weekend long. I hope they did too.
Our weekend together was spent almost entirely with each other. Zooey and I made muffins (espresso chocolate chip; mai gawd!). We all played some games. In fact, I finally beat Zooey at a game. I played Kubb for the first time and won both games! It turns out, I’m pretty good at games of physical dexterity.
And sex happened. So, I’ve somehow dealt with my issues. Three months ago, I was fantasizing frequently about having a mmf-threesome. Now it is a regular occurrence.
Speaking of fantasies, Zooey wants me to compile a list of my turns-ons. She and Joseph are helping me discover some. In fact, I’m doing a lot of self-discovery with them. Anyway, I’m thinking about turning that list into an ongoing blog feature. Maybe I can post about one of the items periodically, and explore it and what it means to me.
I’m now one of those people having awesome, interesting sex on a fairly regular basis. It’s strange how suddenly and unexpectedly your life can change.
Joseph and I bonded this weekend, which makes me really happy. He’s so funny and sweet, he just hides it behind snark and apathy. He gets this really intense look in his eyes, and I want to find out what it really means, because he always misdirects. I spent most of one night snuggled up against him. I feel more at ease, like my affections are more welcome.
That was my weekend, and it was an absolute delight.
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BABES I”M SO TIREDDDdddd!! i’ve had a helluva day. and really, a helluva few months. productive though…i’ve been super busy working on a bunch of projects. here’s an update on what i’ve been up to & what you can expect in the future!
*Get Advice & Help Fast!
By the end of October there will be a full Sex+ portal to get answers and advice about sexuality, relationships, body image, sexual orientation, gender identity, and lots of other Sex+ stuff! All you gotta do is write in and I or one of the other peer counselors get back to you by the next day. You will also be able to call us if you’d prefer.
*Hosting for the Discovery Channel
In addition to my work on Sex+ and with Planned Parenthood, I am writing and hosting a new web show (or two!) with the Discovery Network. Some sciencey stuff. I’ll be sure to let you guys know when this kicks off (probably by the end of this month).
*Translations for the Deaf, Spanish, French, and Portuguese speakers!
Many people have asked that Sex+ be transcribed into other languages. Starting in December, a translation drop down menu will be available on all new (and some old - that might take us awhile) episodes of Sex+!
I am currently working with some high school students to build a Sex+ portal for teens and by teens. It will be a secured space online for teens across the world to meet up and talk about Sex+ issues in a facilitated space. I will be looking for a team of high schoolers to run Sex+ teen in the spring!
*May & September university tours
I have also been traveling around visiting lots of you guys at your universities. It has been so amazing to meet so many of you face to face. I want to do it MOARRR!! I am currently planning to do 3 week tours in May & September across the country. I’ll be sure to send out details on how to schedule a visit as soon as the web portal goes up!
I also just wanted to say: thank you for your letters, for your thoughts, for keeping the conversation going. It feels impersonal going out on a webpage, but hearing from/writing/skyping with you guys gives me so much energy. Oliveyou forevar. *hugs*
You’re such a positive influence on the world. Thank you for all of your Sex+ work, and everything you do to get positive, accurate information out there.
I’m pretty tired and most definitely drunk. So, I hope this is a coherent post. I have two points to address. The first is that I had sex—made love?—with Zooey. So, I’m working past the issues I mentioned before. Second, I want to talk about tonight’s major frustration.
A couple of nights ago, I stayed with Zooey and Joseph. It delights me to no end to stay the night with them. I do feel bad, though. My snoring kept Joseph from getting to sleep, so he got up in the middle of the night and went to sleep on the futon. Zooey, fortunately, is a very heavy sleeper; I slept the whole night with her in my arms (melt).
We woke up in the morning, pressed close. I nuzzled her neck, and she purred. I kissed and she moaned. My hands roamed her body, as my lips found hers. Neither of us were clothed.
Our bodies pressed together. Tender, and loving, it was more than the sex of our second date. We’ve established something worth expressing with our bodies now. And we did. And I could. I’m giddy just thinking about that morning. I started my day expressing my feelings for Zooey in a very real way. Unsurprising, then, that the rest of my day was bliss; I rode that high through a productive afternoon and into a restful night.
Really, my whole week has been a bit effortless because of that morning. So, now we’re at tonight. My best friend Red is throwing a going away party for her sister-in-law, Tara, who is moving to London for a few weeks. I met Tara at another of Red’s parties a couple of years back. In the midst of the drinking and the noise, we talked of school and the future—in the speculative, what will come of our world sense. They live together, so nearly every time I come up to visit Red I also see Tara briefly. And I’m struck by her beauty, intelligence, and mostly her raw, pure humanity.
I’ve made no secret to Red that I am interested in her sister. Tonight, though, this party, and Tara is leaving the country. It’s not forever, but tonight has a finality about it. In the back of my head I have some half-cocked plan and determination that I need to kiss Tara tonight. She must know how I feel before she leaves.
She’s apparently seeing another of Red’s friends. I know him from previous get-togethers and he is a nice guy. And I can’t seem to get more than a minute or two of time with Tara before he pops up. Dude, I want to say goodbye to this mesmerizing, awesome woman.
Now it’s nearly 2am and everyone has gone to bed. I’ve missed my chance tonight, and I hate forcing these things at the last minute. I’m going to hug her goodbye in the morning, and I’m going to squeeze her tight and try to express in that embrace how much I want to know her better and how happy I am that this opportunity arose for her. I’m practiced at communicating via hug, I can speak embrace conversationally with very little accent.
Goodbye, Tara. I will miss you, but more than that I am so excited for you.
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Full disclosure: during my last several sexual encounters with Zoseph, I have not been able to maintain an erection.
I want to talk about this. I don’t understand why it is happening, and I hope organizing my thoughts will help me deal with it and keep it from happening again. I also hope to start a bit of discussion and minimize the shame by putting the problem in full light.
Alright, so a (brief) bit of back story. About a month ago, after a party, I was unable to get hard while fooling around with both Zooey and Joseph. The same thing happened again a couple weeks later, despite the show they put on and the attention they gave me. Both times were after a few drinks. I don’t really drink, so I just called it whiskey-dick and didn’t think much of it.
Then, a couple days ago, Zooey and I were hanging out in the afternoon. As our clothes came off and while we kissed, I was erect. As I reached over to the bedside table for a condom, my pole flagged. And it would not come back. Last night, I was again with both Joseph and Zooey. Again, as things got started, I became rock hard. I was relieved. But, as we progressed, I lost the erection. I was briefly able to recover after Joseph and Zooey finished and we were all lying there. And they poured their attention on me. I maintained briefly, but eventually even this late-game erection disappeared.
Those are the events. Here is some context. I have no problem becoming and staying fully hard with Tess. I masturbate, with full erection, on average, once a day. There are no problems there.
With that, here is my analysis. The biological mechanism does work, so my issue must be mental or emotional. I purposely did not use the word aroused in my descriptions, because I felt aroused during all of these encounters. I am turned on like crazy. I’m lost in the moment, I am just not responding physically like I’d hope to.
Zooey and Joseph are the first real relationship I’ve pursued outside of my relationship with Tess. I am falling hard for them. Zooey and I click like magic. At times, it’s a bit surreal how comfortable I am, how at home I already feel with them both. Tess asked if I’m worried about disappointing them. And I think that might be it. The sex is meaningful now; not just for play, but for expression.
And it’s ridiculous that a worry about disappointing them keeps me from performing sexually, which might actually lead to disappointment.
Thus far though, that disappointment hasn’t surfaced. For their part, both Zooey and Joseph have been wonderfully supportive and encouraging. Their kindness, respect, and positive attitude—and apparent determination to help me through it—makes me feel a deeper bond to them. I know they are good people because rather than create a problem, this issue has somehow served to strengthen our relationship.
This is my story and situation.
Now I want to hear from you. Has it happened to you or someone you’ve been with? Remember, you can leave anonymous comments. But, I do encourage you to embrace your story. Openness and honesty will win the day.
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