Monogamish by Taboo

findmywaywithwords: (The picture is blurry but the story is the...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:52:46 -0400

(The picture is blurry but the story is the important part, so please stay with me.)

I met Felicia Day at C2E2 and it was the highlight of my weekend. She is so sweet and seemed genuinely interested in everyone. I’m used to having to spit out whatever I want to say as a person is signing, because that’s normally as much time as I’m allowed (and I was shocked I was allowed to take pictures with her), but she was having decent conversations with everyone, as far as I could tell. I told her how happy I was to meet her, and how she does everything and does it so well and is basically an inspiration for geeky girls everywhere. She thanked me and said she was happy to meet me as well. Then said that she really liked my shirt. She asked me what StarKid was because she thought she’d heard of it before. That is a surefire way to get me to tell you more than you will ever want to know. I launched into a basic description of them, and instead of the forced, “Oh, cool,” that I usually get from people, Felicia kept asking questions. I was so pleased and figured I’d better ask for a picture before security made me leave. She saw my StarKid phonecase and observed that it was the same logo. She asked if I was in the group and I ~~laughed for a hundred years~~ said no, I was just a big fan. Then she asked if they did shows often in the city and what they were currently working on. I told her about Twisted and when I quoted the Kickstarter plot description, her eyes went wide and she said, “… that is genius. Someone should have done that already. That sounds so good.” She asked what they’d done in the past besides the one Potter show, so I told her and said all the other shows were on YouTube. She asked for the channel name and said, “I’ll definitely have to check that out.”

Whether she does or not, she humored me in my obsession and I was giddy over that for the rest of the day. Every hero of mine I’ve met has obviously been grateful for his or her fans, but most of the time it is a celebrity/fan dynamic. It’s rare to get to talk to them and be treated as an equally interesting person. Actual angel Felicia Day, everyone.

Felicia Day is pure awesome. This sounds like such a great experience.

sex-nerd: amazonpoodle: sweaterkittensahoy: The premise of...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 02:52:18 -0400

sex-nerd:

amazonpoodle:

sweaterkittensahoy:

The premise of the film project is simple: a woman is asked to read an excerpt from a personally elected body of literature. (x)

It’s called “Hysterical Literature,” and I have never seen a better example of questioning why it is that educated women (whether self or otherwise) always seem to be showcased as having no interest in sex. They all choose interesting books, and they all get off, and it’s fabulous.

It’s also brought forth a lot of comments (on youtube and otherwise) and WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS. IT’S SO DIRTY, and I feel that’s part of the point: Why is this considered so scandalous? It’s just sex. In fact, we don’t even SEE the sex, so the only thing that could be making people uncomfortable while watching it seems to be watching a woman enjoying getting sexual pleasure.

And maybe some of those people just aren’t into voyeurism and that’s cool. But I’m betting a lot of them just don’t like to consider that maybe they think women having sexual pleasure is weird and that they think that you can’t have sexual pleasure as a woman and also have other facets and appreciation for “finer things.”

What I’m saying is, this whole series gives me a lot of thoughts.

I think some reasons for why the people who probably do watch porn are made so uncomfortable by Hysterical Literature are a little more involved, since there’s definitely a decent market for porn in which women masturbate solo. It’s not JUST that each woman is experiencing sexual pleasure, it’s the combination of a bunch of aspects that are specific to this series:

each woman is without a partner, so she’s not servicing anyone;

she’s without a partner, so her attention is focused inward — this is completely about her enjoyment only;

she’s without a partner, but she does have a vibrator and her own body, so she isn’t dependent on any other human for her orgasm;

she’s reading a selection of her own aloud with some serious dedication, demonstrating that there are things she finds just as interesting as sex;

we don’t get any of the visuals or the melodrama or the POV that are usually considered to be the point of porn, so we can’t be titillated by her body (or her partner’s body/actions, or her reactions to her partner’s body/actions) — we don’t get to see what’s causing her pleasure, we only see how it makes her feel.

The whole production is actually super-dismissive of mainstream (straight) porn and its primary audience (dudes), in that it’s not particularly staged for the viewer’s pleasure (there’s no pretense that there isn’t a viewer — it’s just not about them) unless the viewer happens to be a person who gets off on the idea of women having some fantastic selfish orgasms, even when the viewer is in no way invited to imagine themselves participating. :D

FANTASTIC.

I can never say enough about hysterical literature and how amazing it is

Jealous Rose I was making a snack and I saw something unfamiliar...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 02:34:28 -0400

Jealous Rose

I was making a snack and I saw something unfamiliar out of the corner of my eye. There on the…

View Post

Photo

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 23:33:03 -0400

Reblog this if you like Harry Potter. No questions, just do. It'll make sense later.

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 03:04:04 -0400

nerdofchaos: recreationalcannibalism: the-adequate-gatsby: stultifyandstupefy: derpes: And God...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 04:46:28 -0400

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.”

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

Sweden Adopts A Gender Neutral Pronoun

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 04:43:39 -0400

Sweden Adopts A Gender Neutral Pronoun:

This is awesome. American English is a big conglomeration of languages anyway. Why don’t we just adopt hen as our gender neutral pronoun? I’m going to start using it…

Oh, I'm back, by the way

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 16:33:55 -0400

Zooey, Joseph, and I returned from our backpacking trip last Saturday afternoon. To summarize, it was an amazing, gorgeous adventure. I was a little nervous going into the trip, but Zooey and Joseph are so relaxed and self-assured that I couldn’t help but…

View Post

Divorce and Other News

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:44:08 -0400

I spent about an hour at the courthouse this morning and now Tess and I are no longer married.

That’s it. Done and over with. Pretty straight-forward, really. I don’t feel any different, of course, and my instinct is to say that really nothing has…

View Post

One Year

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 02:25:04 -0400

WordPress tells me I’ve had this site for a year now. What a perfect time for an update and a bit of reflection.

A year ago I was trying to figure out my identity. Tess and I had declared our marriage open a few weeks before. I was frustrated by my lack…

View Post

personal post

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:49:54 -0500

polycule:

sometimes you can be surrounded by people and have a lot of great relationships and still be lonely. today is one of those days.

polycule: ruining your perception that polyamory is perfect since 2012. you’re welcome.

It’s so, so true.

lagio: i-am-oswin-and-i-am-human: arikhaldan: The only thing...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:47:33 -0500

February 2008

December 2012

lagio:

i-am-oswin-and-i-am-human:

arikhaldan:

The only thing that has changed about me in the last five years is the vessel that houses my soul. I’m not ashamed of how I use to look, and I’m not ashamed of how I look today.

Congratulations on your attractiveness in bother genders.

HOT

"‎”Boys are told from a young age that whatever they do will be excused under the “boys will be boys”..."

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 11:57:02 -0500

“‎”Boys are told from a young age that whatever they do will be excused under the “boys will be boys” mantra, and that “boys will be boys” mentality leads to what I call the “BOILING FROG” problem of women’s sexual boundaries. I call it that because if you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump right out, but if you put a frog into a pot of room-temperature water and slowly heat it to a boil, the frog will acclimate as it heats and never jump out, eventually boiling to death. Similarly, when we learn as young girls to tolerate “low-level” boundary violations like the ones we often are forced to suffer in silence at school, at home and on the street – bra-snapping, boob-grabbing, ass pinching, catcalling, dick flashing “all in good fun” relentless violations that adults and authorities routinely ignore – it makes it harder for us to notice when even greater boundaries are being violated, eventually leading to the reality that many women who are raped just freeze and fall silent, because that’s what they’ve been taught to do over and over since day one. You tell me what’s more infantilizing: repeatedly letting boys (and grown men) off the hook for their behavior because “boys will be boys” and we can’t ever expect any differently, or creating a consent standard in which all partners take active responsibility for their partner’s safety, and which acknowledges the truly diseased sexual culture we’re soaking in every day.””

- The (nonexistent) terrible, horrible, no good, very bad consequences of enthusiastic consent - Jaclyn Friedman (via queerintersectional)

Guest Post: Happily Monogamous by RedI met Taboo for the first...

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:34:09 -0500

Guest Post: Happily Monogamous by Red

I met Taboo for the first time about two and a half years ago- we clicked as friends almost…

View Post

Polycule: Just for the record

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 12:37:11 -0500

Polycule: Just for the record:

polycule:

Because apparently some people are confused.

I am NOT anti-marriage equality. I’m anti-marriage.

And I’ll fight for marriage equality because I believe that it is a step toward what I personally think we need — eradicating the unnecessarily high value our culture puts on marriage, and because I…

Well said. I completely agree on all counts.

jenkirkman: sarapocock: This happens all the time. Every car...

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 11:52:36 -0500

jenkirkman:

sarapocock:

This happens all the time. Every car horn, every whistle, every cat call and lewd exclamation, strengthens the lesson I’ve been taught over and over and over again throughout my entire life: as a lady, my body is on public display and open for judgment—from anyone.

Most men who will see this are decent, rational guys who will sympathize with my feelings. A small, vocal handful of dudes will send me private messages about how women like me can’t “take a fucking compliment.” This is not for either of you. This is for the guys who don’t know yet that attracting unwanted attention doesn’t make women feel good, no matter how nice their intentions are. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can say that I personally get embarrassed, often scared, and always—ALWAYS—ashamed, in some way, in how I look.

So… now that you know, cut it out. Tell all the girls how nice they are and how amazing they are at their jobs instead.

I am probably told about ten to twenty times a week that I can’t take a compliment and that I can’t take jokes. I hate that it happens all the time but I feel less insane when I hear that other women whom I don’t know all that well personally have the same gut feelings I do when we are treated this way. - Jen

Future of Happy Memories

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 02:33:00 -0500

Joseph, Zooey, and I just arrived back from our trip to the coast. I dropped them off at their house and helped them unload their luggage. Now I’m home and my own unpacking is still yet to be done.

My excitement was not mistaken. It was an amazing trip. We had gorgeous weather every single day, the resort was fantastic, and our time together was really meaningful.

There were a couple events to highlight. Zooey and I took an delightfully long walk on the beach on our last evening. She bought a butterfly kite that she wanted to fly, so we set out, planning to come back in time to watch the sunset in the hottub with Joseph. The wind was strong enough, but inconsistent. It would die out suddenly and the kite would sink. After playing with it for several minutes, she decided she wanted to set it aside and just walk; we’d pick it up on the way back. We set out south on the beach with no visible end. I estimated that we still had ninety minutes before sunset.

As we walked, we talked. Zooey and I share a passion for talking. I love talking to her. She’s fascinating and she’s experienced so much already; I can just listen to her for hours. This time, that was a problem. We reached a large rock jetty that created a very definite end to what had appeared to be an infinite beach. Taking it as our cue to turn around, we headed back. We noticed that the sun was awfully low in the sky, though. We’d gone farther than we meant to and I had drastically misjudged the time of sunset. I was upset with myself for ruining Zooey’s romantic plan. She wasn’t going to let me get away with that, though, when we were still watching a beautiful sunset. We found a washed up log, and made that our sunset plan. I loved her anew in that moment.

We eventually made it back, recovering her kite along the way. Our sunset hottub time became starlight hottub time and it was amazing.

The night before my walk with Zooey, Joseph taught me a drinking game. It’s a fascinating game that combines a bit of luck with subtle strategy and lots of drinking. I’d already been drinking my usual Mike’s (seasonal Winter Blackberry!). Zooey fell asleep pretty early in, so it was just Joseph and I. Joseph enjoys games immensely, and I really like it when he teaches me new ones. This was the first one-on-one time he and I have had in a long while.

The game proceeded until I was more drunk than I’ve ever been. Not too long after that I felt like I couldn’t drink anymore. I think I got pretty obnoxious, but Joseph tolerated me. Even when I finally threw up. Not much, but enough to feel better. Or at least well enough to sit by the fireplace and fall asleep. He gathered me up and put me to bed, then endured my drunken snoring.

Or singing, apparently. Both Joseph and Zooey told me I was singing in my sleep that night. I wouldn’t put it past me.

Then there was all the great seafood we ate. The two nights of great sex. The games we played together. The meals we made. The downtime that we just shared together. And Zooey apparently has a knack for making the last day of a trip spectacular. I expected us to pack up and head back home. In my experience, the return day of a trip is pretty unremarkable. Not so this time. We went on a hike to a suspension bridge over a waterfall then visited two different lighthouses. We finished it up with a tasty meal at a pub at the last coast town we passed through.

Now we’re back. I’m so happy. I think taking a successful trip together signifies that the foundation is built and we’re ready to start building a future of happy memories.

View Post

shared via WordPress.com

Away to the Coast

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:40:40 -0500

I’m all packed and ready to go. Now I’m waiting to hear from Zooey and Joseph. When I get the word, I’ll go and pick them up and the three of us are going to spend the next three days on the coast. It’s our first trip together.

Zooey’s dad owns one of…

View Post

shared via WordPress.com

Repost until it’s no longer relevant.

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 05:04:16 -0500

Repost until it’s no longer relevant.

Dating and Not

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 20:34:00 -0500

I’ve been very satisfied with my relationship with Joseph and Zooey. My needs are being met and I’m happy devoting a lot of my time to the relationship. Still, I’ve been dating a little bit, as well. I’ve noticed a trend: thus far, I’ve only ever been on two dates with any one person.

I’m referring to the people I’ve dated in the classic sense. I met one at a party, and two others I met through OkCupid. That’s only three people, so the sample is small, but it’s a coincidence I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

Part of the issue, I think, is that I’m just so happy with my existing relationships. I’m not particularly eager to start a new relationship. I have Zoseph that I spend most of my time with, Tess whom I’m extremely close to, then my small band of close friends. I would like to find a guy to date so I can further explore my bisexuality, but I’m really enamored with Joseph. A lot of the time I’d rather just spend time with him.

Sometimes I worry that I’m putting too much pressure on Zoseph. They’ve become my primary romantic interest, but they don’t seem to mind at all.

I had just started dating when I met Zoseph, so I felt like I should keep dating to be a good and proper poly person. One of the keys to polyamory is knowing yourself and your own needs. I’m happy and satisfied and all of my needs are being met, so I don’t need to be dating right now. I’m still open to meeting people, but for a while I’m going to stop putting effort into looking for new people to go out with.

View Post

shared via WordPress.com